When I think about the word “gender”, the first thing that came into my mind is how there’s no women’s name in my family history catalog. Because according to my cultural tradition, after a woman gets married, she belongs to the husband’s family, so naturally, her name wasn’t included in the family history in the first place. And every time when I put names into the temple because we don’t know the name of the wife, we use “blah blah blah’s wife” instead.
Are our identities as women only being seen as somebody’s wife? Though it is an infinite no in today's society, it is still an intriguing question to ask in the Mormon culture.
I was raised by a nanny when I was a kid. Both of my parents work while I was in kindergarten and elementary. I remembered there were people questioning my mom whether she should be working while I was still such a young kid. To me, though I wouldn’t have ever known the difference, I don’t feel like being neglect in any ways or in anyways “defected” in my development as a toddler.
I remembered I was much bossier around my nanny than around my parents. But I did enjoy having a friend outside of the family when I was a kid. Later, my mom quitted her job and became a housewife while I was almost graduating elementary school. And took on the role of taking care of the family and cleaning the house etc.
But is it really so essential for her to stop pursuing her career and be with her family? Or do people do it only because of guilt that the society has put on them even in the 21st century?
After my mom quit her job, she always complains about having nothing to do, being bored, and being useless. By that time, our family has already converted to the church. So, she started doing family history work. And she woke up every day on time to start working on it, do some housework during the day, and work some more before she goes to bed.
Until one day she found another job and decided she might go back to the working field again. And here’s when something interesting happened.
A lady in our ward, who is in her 70s, walked up to her and told her that she shouldn’t take the job because she’s in her 40s and she should always put family first, moreover, she should put God first.
I wonder if it’s a brother in our ward who is in the same shoe as my mother once were, would she have said the same to him?
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